The Seamstress

There once was a seamstress from Kent
Employed by a rich clumsy gent
His loose button bought bread
Fuel provided by his thread
But the mortgage was paid by his rent

Limmerick de Patrick

Today's thermo test on entropy
I think it has got the best of me
It wasn't much fun
But now that its done
I can let my brain start to atrophy

Day 61- Iraq

For nine years we've sent soldiers to Iraq
They survived WMD's and sniper attack
Now the war's done
Well wasn't that fun
At least now they all can come back.

Day 59 - Ah Poo

We all have to deal with poo

It comes out of me and out of you

That tasty pot roast

Is now something gross

The detritus of all the things that we chew. 

Day 60 - The Man from Galilee

There once was a man from Galilee
Who was more than he appeared to be
His Christmas birth
began the salvation of Earth
which finished when he died for you and for me.

Day 58 - Secret Santa

I got a present from my secret Santa

One single bottle of orange Fanta

It spilled on my desk

And made a big mess

I’m trying to be thankful, but I can’t-a 

Day 57 - Mushrooms

The mushroom’s lord of kingdom fungus

From the small to the truly humongous

Have you ever been sold

This beautiful mold

This culinary treat for your tongue-ous? 

Day 56 - Spelling

Some folks care greatly 'bout speling

But I just don’t find it compeling.

If you can get the meening

Why all this preaning

Just focus on the story I’m teling. 

Day 55 - Aphrodite

They tell of the fair Aphrodite
Who hung with the powerful and mighty
She made mortal men drool
And lesser gods act the fool
Goddess of love, beauty and the nighty.

Day 54 - Hunting

Yesterday I went hunting for cougars
Armed to the hilt with two powerful  Lugers
I brought home no game
Just got caught in the rain
All I captured was loogies and boogers.

Day 53 - Raptor Dinner

I know an old lady who swallowed a raptor
But he scratched and he squirmed and tormented his captor
So she spewed him out
And she let out a shout
When her dinner wheeled 'round and tail slapped her

Day 52 - TV

Is it wrong to love a television?
Please don't give me that look of derision
It's high definition
Not the road to Perdition
Let us be, we've made our decision.

Day 51 - Caesar

All hail the fabulous Caesar
Emperor and famous crowd pleaser
and thanks to Brutus
and his bad attitudus
Julius will ne'er be a geezer.

Day 50 - My Apple

In my apple I found a worm
But that wasn't what made me squirm
'Cause all that was left
Was his better half
Bisected I believe is the term

Day 49 - Silly Monkey

There once was a curious monkey
Who occasionaly liked to get drunky
Banana wine
Did the job just fine
But when he got sick it always came out... never mind.

Day 48 - Thanksgiving

Today we celebrate Thanksgiving
A day to be gratefull for living
For family and friends
The blessings God sends
And mistakes He's constantly forgiving.

Day 47 - The Soldier

There once was an apian soldier
So old that he'd started to molder
Avoided the reaper
'Til he could sting the keeper
Because his duty was the eye of the bee holder.

Day 46 - Stupid Turkeys

The turkey is a curious bird
Really not bright from what I've heard
If he stands out in the rain
He's got a beak that won't drain
So he'll drown in a death quite absurd.

Day 45 - Super Commitee

There once was a committee not quite so super
Not a single member to call a trooper
They were in a big hurry
So they quit early
And left the economy in the pooper.

Day 44 - Forever in Blue Genes

They tell me its because of my genes
But I don't really get what that means
What I just don't get
Is how my pants can limit
The pursuit of my athletic dreams.