Day 61- Iraq

For nine years we've sent soldiers to Iraq
They survived WMD's and sniper attack
Now the war's done
Well wasn't that fun
At least now they all can come back.

Day 59 - Ah Poo

We all have to deal with poo

It comes out of me and out of you

That tasty pot roast

Is now something gross

The detritus of all the things that we chew. 

Day 60 - The Man from Galilee

There once was a man from Galilee
Who was more than he appeared to be
His Christmas birth
began the salvation of Earth
which finished when he died for you and for me.

Day 58 - Secret Santa

I got a present from my secret Santa

One single bottle of orange Fanta

It spilled on my desk

And made a big mess

I’m trying to be thankful, but I can’t-a 

Day 57 - Mushrooms

The mushroom’s lord of kingdom fungus

From the small to the truly humongous

Have you ever been sold

This beautiful mold

This culinary treat for your tongue-ous? 

Day 56 - Spelling

Some folks care greatly 'bout speling

But I just don’t find it compeling.

If you can get the meening

Why all this preaning

Just focus on the story I’m teling. 

Day 55 - Aphrodite

They tell of the fair Aphrodite
Who hung with the powerful and mighty
She made mortal men drool
And lesser gods act the fool
Goddess of love, beauty and the nighty.

Day 54 - Hunting

Yesterday I went hunting for cougars
Armed to the hilt with two powerful  Lugers
I brought home no game
Just got caught in the rain
All I captured was loogies and boogers.

Day 53 - Raptor Dinner

I know an old lady who swallowed a raptor
But he scratched and he squirmed and tormented his captor
So she spewed him out
And she let out a shout
When her dinner wheeled 'round and tail slapped her

Day 52 - TV

Is it wrong to love a television?
Please don't give me that look of derision
It's high definition
Not the road to Perdition
Let us be, we've made our decision.

Day 51 - Caesar

All hail the fabulous Caesar
Emperor and famous crowd pleaser
and thanks to Brutus
and his bad attitudus
Julius will ne'er be a geezer.

Day 50 - My Apple

In my apple I found a worm
But that wasn't what made me squirm
'Cause all that was left
Was his better half
Bisected I believe is the term

Day 49 - Silly Monkey

There once was a curious monkey
Who occasionaly liked to get drunky
Banana wine
Did the job just fine
But when he got sick it always came out... never mind.

Day 48 - Thanksgiving

Today we celebrate Thanksgiving
A day to be gratefull for living
For family and friends
The blessings God sends
And mistakes He's constantly forgiving.

Day 47 - The Soldier

There once was an apian soldier
So old that he'd started to molder
Avoided the reaper
'Til he could sting the keeper
Because his duty was the eye of the bee holder.

Day 46 - Stupid Turkeys

The turkey is a curious bird
Really not bright from what I've heard
If he stands out in the rain
He's got a beak that won't drain
So he'll drown in a death quite absurd.

Day 45 - Super Commitee

There once was a committee not quite so super
Not a single member to call a trooper
They were in a big hurry
So they quit early
And left the economy in the pooper.

Day 44 - Forever in Blue Genes

They tell me its because of my genes
But I don't really get what that means
What I just don't get
Is how my pants can limit
The pursuit of my athletic dreams.

Day 43 - A fallen Seminole

Maurice Harris was a football Seminole
And some say his defense was seminal
But there's no defense
When the evidence
Proves that the sample was seminal.



This one occurred to me based on the fun with the homonyms. Sadly there was more than one candidate that fit the requirements. Maurice is just the most recent. http://www.wctv.tv/home/headlines/Former_FSU_Football_Player__121527134.html

Day 42- The value of a President

Lately I have been thinkin'
About Washington, Jefferson and Lincoln
And what they represent
Oh, about thirty-one cent
Would they care how their value is sinkin'

Day 41 -Just Fracking Around

Big oil corps have all been fracking
(Don't worry, that just means cracking)
the layers of shale
the better to avail
themselves of the oil that the soils have been packing.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydraulic_fracturing#Induced_hydraulic_fracturing

Day 40 - Nun's the Word

There once was a sister on a mission
Born of Limerick took vows Franciscan
Now she fights corporate greed
and the CEO's heed
'cuase you don't mess with a nun and her coalition.


This one needs a little explaining. See the NY Times article below. This is how you get your voice heard.
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/11/13/business/sisters-of-st-francis-the-quiet-shareholder-activists.html?_r=2&pagewanted=all&smid=fb-share

"A  PROFESSORIAL woman with a sculpted puff of gray hair, Sister Nora grew up in Limerick County, Ireland. She dreamed of becoming a missionary in Africa, but in 1959, she arrived in Pennsylvania to join the Sisters of St. Francis, an order founded in 1855 by Mother Francis Bachmann, a Bavarian immigrant with a passion for social justice. Sister Nora took her Franciscan vows of chastity, poverty and obedience two years later, in 1961, and has stayed put ever since." -New York Times

-I had to do one about Sister Nora. She grew up in Limerick County for goodness sakes. And for those of you who read the whole article - tomorrow's limerick might have to be about fracking. 

Day 39 - Mexican Festival

I went to a Mexican festival
With food so fine and so plentiful
We danced through the night
but the morning light
Brought a parade that was gastrointestinal

Day 38 - Monkey Stew

I once knew a chef named O'Finnigan
Who made monkey stew now and again
I watched as he toiled
And asked if it boiled
He replied no it's just simian

Day 37 - Silvio Berlusconi

Mr. Silvio Berlusconi
No longer leads the land of macaroni
With your life full of scandal
It was too much to handle
It's time for your sins to atone-e

Day 36 - The Happy Mouse

I once had a happy little mouse

Who resided under my house

He got into the wine 

But we got on just fine

Since we were both perpetually soused 

Day 35 - Occupy Yourself

They are the unfortunate ninety-nine
And all of their problems stem from over that line
But I don't really see
That they speak for me
I guess they're the eighty nine point nine nine


Editorial note: I don't actually have anything against the occupy movement. They're putting a voice to real inequality in our society and I hope they do achieve something, even if it is just to keep people talking about the issue of the way our economy runs right now. There are probably more effective ways to get the 1% 's attention, but this is a start. That all being said I still think the whole "We are the 99%" thing is pretty presumptuous or funny or both. I understand why they've latched on to that number, but I want to see the 98th percentile out there protesting.

Day 34 - The Welder

I once met a female welder
Was infatuated when I beheld her
We went on a date
And everything was great
'Til the wind changed and that's when I smelled her.

Day 33 - Carnival Ride

Here I lay staring at the ceiling
Head spinning, my stomach reeling
That carnival ride
Churned my inside
Let's do it again, this time with feeling.

Day 32 - Mayan Sports Hero

There once was a fellow from the Yucatan
An athletic and enterprising Mayan
His team to victory led
So they lopped off his head
Now he's just trying to get ahead any way that he can

Day 31- Inspiration

Today I am searching for inspiration
My ideas have left on their winter migration
Time for another track
Lean more to the abstract
A poem about nothing that lacks imagination

Day 30 - the Greek's

Everyone's watching the Greek nation
The country on fiscal probation
And now the people will vote
And the chance seems remote
That the world will give a standing ovation

Day 29 Billions and Billions

There are now 7 billion people on Earth
And each day a thousand more give birth
If we continue to grow
One day we'll know
What solitude really was worth

Day 28

Who wants to play with physics so quantum
Those silly quarks, you know you want 'em

particle or wave
they just won't behave
but please keep an eye on your photon. 

Day 27

I once drew a sketch of a noodle
Really not more than a doodle
Ok a line
Not art too fine
Or maybe it's a hair off a poodle.

Day 26

Why can't folks drive when it rains?
It seems to affect their brains
Take it from a pro
I thought you should know
The water will find it's way to the drains.

Day 25

So now we have come to fall
With cold winds and leaves and all
Daylight's getting shortened,
But what's most important
Is its starting to feel like football.

Day 24

Some people think it pejorative
While others find it restorative
But don't you see
That when you say it to me
I choose to think its amourative

Day 23

Well hello Mr. Street light
I know I shouldn't, but I just might
Climb to your top
To get the drop
On those fiendish critters of the night.

Day 22

It's really unpleasent to be sick
And it may seem a devilish trick
But I think it's God's way
To gently say
Slow down, you hurry to quick.

Day 21

There once was a woman named Tori
Who's beauty was just part of the story
she has compassion and brains
and all that remains
is to tell of her artistic glory.

Day 20

Have you considered the marshmallow?
He's a rather vacuous fellow
His head's full of air
But he doesn't care
He's going for a swim in the Jello

Day 19

I once met a magical genie
Who lived in a little red beanie
He said it had been
The home of a jiin
Who preferred to don a tankini.

Day 18

There once was a country called Greece
That couldn't afford it's lease
So it begged and it borrowed
And I'll pay you tomorrowed
'Til it threatened Europe's prosperity and peace.

Day 17

I sure do enjoy Ron Paul
Having his seat at the ball
It's good entertainment
But Ron Paul president
No I don't think I like that at all

Day 16

For volleyball we came by ones and by twoses
And though someone must win and some loses
We get hurt more than others
This team of fathers and mothers
That's why we made our team name Bumps and Bruises

Day 15

We spent the day at the river
And though we started to shiver
We had great fun
'Cause who needs the sun
In the fog and the cold by the river.

Day 14

I just found a fly in my whiskey
But I can't say he was feeling to frisky
In fact he was dead
It went straight to his head
He should have known that first sip was risky.
~true story. Very sad.

Day 13

There once was a bee in the flowers
Who spoke of revolt and bee power
Oh he'd stomp and shout
But the hive kicked him out
'cause social change makes the honey taste sour.

Day 12

In response to Megan's comment on Day 6

Lady Muffit now enjoys wedded bliss
The result of a foolish little tryst
They knew it was wrong
So he proposed with a song
Now Muffit's no longer amiss.




Yes, I know, her name would no longer be Muffit either. She's a feminist and kept her own last name. 

Day 11

There once was a man from Toledo
Who got bit by a massive mosquito
Though it brought tears to his eyes
And a welt did rise
It did little for this fellow's libido.

Day 10

The condiment race I'll embellish.
The Tartar got creamed by shell fish,
The Mustard played catch-up
To the quick starting Ketchup,
While the Mayo pursued with a Relish!

Day 9

There once was a fellow named Ben
Who got together with Jerry his friend
They made ice cream bold
And fattening I'm told
But my taste buds out vote my rear end.

Day 8

And now I'm off to bed
To rest my weary head
It's been a long day
At work and at play
And that's all there is to be said.

Day 7

There once was a Buddhist llama
so devoted he became a lama
Picked up a political bent
ran for president
Now we call him lama O-llama-bama.


Fun fact: The scientific name for a llama is lama glama. I didn't have room in the Limerick for lama llama (lama glama) Obama (walla walla bing bang...oooh eeeh).  Also, credit to Ogden Nash (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ogden_Nash) for the lama/llama pairing.

Day 6

Old Mrs. Muffit sat by the bay
Writing my limerick for today
When along came a spider
That sat down beside her
Which frightened my limerick away.

Day 5

Here is my traveling story
About riding in a chinese lorry
My baby fell out
So I had to shout
Driver- go catch-a-Tori.

Day 4

Today I had lunch with a mummy
Who was constantly rubbing his tummy
We spoke of his wife
And the loss of his life
But he mostly just whined for his mummy.

Day 3

Listening to liberal talk radio in the car on the way to the Bellevue office I was inspired to this:

Anwar al-Awlaki did roam
far from his American home
Though terrorist he may be
You'll have to tell me
Was it legal to have sent him a bomb?


Then I got to thinking, this is could be a great opportunity for a more traditional limerickal approach:

There once was a Yankee from Yemen
Who was most likely guilty of treason
oh Anwar al-Awlaki
where can you be
and did you find your virgins in heaven?

Day 2

There was a  poet caught in the middle
of a grammatical riddle
aim for a clever rhyme
or punctuation sublime
'cause a lim'rick's no friend of a tiddle.

Day 1

Fair Eve once sat on a log
composing the very first blog
'bout her travels in Eden
the things she had eaten
and the nice snake she had met in the bog.

Day 0

So a couple nights ago my wife came home with this book about doing an artistic project on a general theme every day for a year. She's wanted to get back to her artistic roots for a while now and figured that this would be a good way for her to do just that. I'm not a particularly artistic person, but I want to be a supportive husband. I remembered that a few of my co-workers and I used to  have limerick Fridays now and then. I do love a good limerick. I even enjoy a so-so limerick, especially if I wrote it. That wouldn't be too big of a time commitment... and so Limerick365.

My goal is to have fun with this and let loose a little creativity. I play pretty loose with the definitions of a limerick, so all you poetry purists will just have to deal with that. No naughty poems here, but no promises that it will always be completely PC. The fun and frivolities begin October 1st. A limerick a day keeps the crazies at bay.